Forge of Freedom: Reflections on Fatherhood and Armed Self-Defense
At the 2025 NRA Annual Meeting, I had the privilege of sitting down with Gila Hayes from the Armed Citizens Legal Defense Network for a candid conversation about the intersection of fatherhood, self-defense, and personal responsibility. As a new father and an attorney practicing in the area of criminal defense, including self-defense cases, this interview was a chance to share how my perspective on preparedness has evolved since welcoming my son into our lives. Below, I’ll recap the key themes we discussed and why they matter for anyone striving to live a life of freedom and responsibility.
A New Lens on Preparedness: Fatherhood Changes Everything
Becoming a father has reshaped how I approach self-defense and preparedness. As I shared with Gila, the arrival of my son introduced a new layer of complexity to my role as a responsibly armed citizen. It’s no longer just about protecting myself or my wife—it’s about ensuring the safety of someone who depends entirely on us. This shift forces you to rethink scenarios you might have previously considered straightforward.
One concept we dove into was inspired by Greg Ellifritz, a contributor to the Armed Citizens Legal Defense Network. Greg’s article, “Are Your Instincts Putting Your Child in Danger?” (available on his Active Response Training website), challenges the instinctive urge to physically shield a child during a violent encounter. While it feels natural to stand between your child and a threat, this can inadvertently place them in the line of fire if the attacker is armed. Instead, Greg advocates creating distance between yourself and your child—counterintuitive but potentially lifesaving. For example, in a church or parking lot scenario, setting an infant down and moving away to engage a threat could reduce the risk of stray bullets hitting your child. This idea struck me deeply, especially as I reflected on holding my son during a church service shortly after attending an active shooter seminar with Ed Monk.
Training for Real-World Scenarios
Gila and I discussed the importance of mental preparation and training for high-stress situations. Drawing from my experience as an affiliate attorney with the Armed Citizens Legal Defense Network, I emphasized that being a responsibly armed citizen goes beyond firearms proficiency. It’s about cultivating a mindset that anticipates and mitigates risks. For parents, this means planning for scenarios where a child is present—whether it’s an armed robbery in a parking lot or an active shooter in a public space.
One practical takeaway is the need to train family members, including young children, to respond appropriately in a crisis. For older kids, this might involve teaching situational awareness through games like “I Spy,” which encourages them to observe their surroundings without instilling fear. For younger children or infants, it’s about preparing yourself to act decisively—whether that means handing the child to your spouse to escape or practicing one-handed firearm operation if your other hand is occupied. These skills require forethought and practice, as does coordinating with your spouse to ensure you’re on the same page about roles and responsibilities in a crisis.
Beyond the Gun: A Holistic Approach to Safety
Our conversation also touched on the broader aspects of preparedness that extend beyond firearms. As a parent, you’re not just thinking about armed threats but also natural disasters, identity theft, and even the risks associated with public spaces like playgrounds or schools. For instance, we discussed the challenges of securing a child in a car seat while staying aware of your surroundings—a scenario where a spouse can act as a lookout or where choosing a safer parking spot can mitigate risks. We also explored the importance of protecting a child’s privacy in the digital age, from limiting social media exposure to being cautious about what grandparents might post online.
Homeschooling came up as a way to control the values and safety environment your child is exposed to, especially in light of concerns about school security or inappropriate curricula. While not every family can or wants to homeschool, the flexibility to instill principles of responsibility, awareness, and self-reliance is invaluable. For me, this ties into the broader mission of Forge of Freedom: empowering individuals to take responsibility for their own lives and safety.
The Power of Community and Humility
One of the most rewarding parts of the interview was discussing the role of community in preparedness. Gila and I talked about the Dunning-Kruger effect—the tendency to overestimate your competence early in learning a skill—and how humility is essential to growth. As a new father, I’m still learning, and I’m open to feedback from others who’ve navigated these challenges. I invited listeners to share their own experiences and strategies, whether through comments on the YouTube video or direct outreach. Building a community of like-minded individuals who value freedom and responsibility is at the heart of what Forge of Freedom is about.
Listen and Engage
You can watch the full interview on the Armed Citizens Legal Defense Network’s YouTube channel:
